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All reviews - Movies (219) - TV Shows (15) - Games (8)

Sex Tape review

Posted : 2 years, 11 months ago on 29 July 2014 12:42 (A review of Sex Tape)

I'm going to keep this review short as i really don't care to say all the much about "Lame Tape". Seriously this movie was straight up boring and a waste of my time and money i was thinking maybe it was going to be funny since it had Jason Segel in it and the premise had potential despite how simple it was but nope i was wrong the jokes were bland and failed to make me laugh for about 95% of the time also its completely wasteful of its "R" rating. Id just say just wait till this hits Netflix or Redbox to watch it but don't waste your money by watching it at the theaters. Sure Jason Segel and Cameron Diaz worked well with each other but it was still "meh" also how the hell does this movie have a budget of over 40 million honestly. I don't even want to rip on this movie all the much anymore but rather Sony for green-lighting one horrible movie after another that ends up bombing at the box office like The Monuments Men, Pompeii and Deliver Us From Evil just to name a few. I mean over half the trailers shown before the movie where Sony movie's and they looked like crap for the most part the only Sony i have liked this year was 22 Jump Street. My point is whoever is over at Sony thinking all these movies are good should be fired!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sony has no clue what they are doing when it comes to movies and the Spider-Man franchise proves me right on that.

Overall i give it a 4.0 Well this was more so a rant than a review but oh well.


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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes review

Posted : 2 years, 11 months ago on 29 July 2014 09:44 (A review of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes)

"We've been through hell together! We spent four years, FOUR YEARS fighting that virus, and then another four fighting each other! It was chaos!... But you all know what we're up against! And I want you to know, it's not just about power! It's about giving us the hope to rebuild, to reclaim the world we lost!"


Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is absolutely phenomenal and one of the best summer blockbuster movies in recent years. I actually watched the movie during its initial release window but decided not to write a review for it as i was sick at the time so i never got around to it but seeing that some time has past now and i still find myself wanting to write a review for it so here i am. Well to start this movie was my most anticipated movie of the whole year over other films like Captain America 2, X-Men DOFP, Godzilla, and a few others, and i would have to say the film most definitely delivered on all my expectations. I wasn't a big fan of Matt Reeves previous films so i was a bit hesitant when i learned that he was going to be the director of this film that being said though i didn't really know that Rupert Wyatt the director of "Rise of the Plant of the Apes" was virtually a unknown director at the time when he did that film so i should have given Reeves more of a chance.



The film picks up 10 years after the film installment and the opens up with the apes hunting for food and right from the beginning the film blows you away with its amazing visuals which i was absolutely thrilled about because Weta Digital really dropped the ball with the visuals in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and its good to see them redeem themselves. It's been 2 years since the apes and humans had any contact with each other and Caesar isn't even sure if they are alive anymore which you can see makes him sad. Leading up to the events in this film the humans spent four years fighting the virus then the next four years fighting each other but it seems after all that the few remaining survivors live in peace in the ruins of San Francisco for the past two years. With fuel running low and the fear of returning back to darkness the main humans which consist of Gary Oldman as Dreyfus the leader, Jason Clarke as Malcolm a scientist, and Keri Russell as Ellie his girlfriend.



After a brief encounter with two young apes in the woods where one of them ends up getting shot in the arm we see Caesar and a huge group of apes march on San Francisco to show power but only to say that humans must stay in the cities and the apes will stay in the forest, this happens to one of the more iconic parts of the movie as it was so freaking awesome to see the apes ride on horse back. Malcolm convinces Dreyfus to give him three days to go talk to the apes to see if they cant just gain access to the hydro dam in the forest so they can fix it so they can have electricity all over the city and they wont have any need to enter the forest. Caesar agrees which leads to one of the fellow apes starting to question his actions. From here we see things escalate in both the human and ape groups which ends up leading to a all out war between the two.



While i was watching the film i would see something happen and i would think to myself and be like okay so this is going to happen but to my surprise it didn't and that happened to me a couple time throughout the movie which i loved because few movies can do that consistently and prove me wrong each time. I was never really a fan of Jason Clarke and i wasn't sure how i was going to like him being in this film seeing that he was going to be a major part of it but he actually did a solid performance which i was surprised about it also actually made me think that he wont be all that bad in Terminator: Genesis. Gary Oldman again was fantastic but of course that's nothing new, he has this one really emotional scene that ends up being one of the more memorable parts of the film. Toby Kebbell as Koba was great he was strong and fearful he also did a really good job for his first motion capture film but i'm sure Mr. Serkis had something to do with that.



Speaking of which lets get to Andy Serkis as the mighty ape Caesar honestly there really isn't anything to say other than we already know he wont win a Oscar for this which is just a absolute shame. His performance in this blows every other motion capture performance of his out of the water its really not even all that close id go as far and say that this is his best performance to date period. The motion capture for the apes was seriously stunning some of the apes like Caesar, Koba, and Maurice, look just as if you were looking at real apes, there are a couple parts where you get to see close ups of Caesar's eyes and you seriously can not tell that its CGI. Only thing i wasn't really expecting was to be reading subtitles so much don't get me wrong i had no problem with it but i figured since ten years had passed the apes would be able to talk but i see that its all just a evolution thing also they didn't interact with humans all that much so they didn't pick up speaking our language fast either way maybe the third film will have the apes speaking full time but i doubt it as i don't think it will be taking place that much further in the future after the events that place in this film.


Overall i give it a 9.0 Best movie I've seen this year and probably going to be my most liked film of the year regardless with only two movies left that could take its place those being The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies and Interstellar but it will be hard for them to do so.


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Bedazzled review

Posted : 2 years, 12 months ago on 4 July 2014 09:22 (A review of Bedazzled)

While this remake may not on the same level of its original its still a decent enough comedy and not as bad as others make it out to be. I know by this time a lot of people had already grown tired of Brendan Fraser but honestly i didn't think he is all that bad in this. While the film can be funny in parts it can also be completely bland in others which makes the movie seem a bit longer then its 90 minute running time. Of course i would have to say the best part of the whole movie was Elizabeth Hurley as "The Devil" her acting was undoubtedly sexy and she looked absolutely stunning especially with all the different outfits she was in. When it comes down to it though id say just skip over this and watch the original as its way better and the only real reason to watch this is for Elizabeth Hurley.


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Her review

Posted : 2 years, 12 months ago on 3 July 2014 11:44 (A review of Her)

"Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I've already felt."


Well I've seen a lot of Director Spike Jones work but i would honestly have to say that Her is now my favorite film of his also his best work to date. Coming off his rather underwhelming 2009 adaptation of Maurice Sendak children's book "Where the Wild Things Are" Spike Jones shows that he can still make a wonderful movie despite the long breaks between making films but at least he keeps busy with shorts films and documentaries. I would to say the movie is a mix of four genres its part, Sci-fi, Romance, Drama, and Comedy, though the comedy aspect of the movie is more so in the first half while the second half tends to more drama driven. Many of the the scenes were beautifully shot and it only added to how immersed you get wrapped up into the characters lives.



The movie follows Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) a quiet, lonely man working as writer for a company that writes personal letters/poems for people that cannot. After sometime of being unhappy because of his unfinished divorce Theodore decides to purchase a new type of operating system for his computer that basically turns it into a artificial intelligence that has its own personal name Samantha (Scarlett Johansson). We see Theodore and Samantha grow a pretty normal relationship together except for the fact that she isn't really there which happens linger on her mind a lot. Theodore finally signs the divorce papers and meets with his ex-wife Catherine (Rooney Mara) which doesn't go so well and after this part Theodore and Samantha's relationship is never really the same as we see them grow apart.



The story is simplistic yet beautiful and the performance by Joaquin Phoenix was just absolutely phenomenal. I do have a few problems with the film though, since its based in the future you would think Samantha's operating system would have at least been able to render a face for her on the little phone thing Theodore has also for having a awesome concept the story sadly stays safe and doesn't really add anything new. The whole first half of the movie was really funny especially the little guy in the video game Theodore was playing as he was flipping hilarious. It seems the company Theodore worked at liked having people that had mustaches and wore their pants high on their waist which was just completely hilarious but only gets more funny when you see Chris Pratt who plays one of his co-worker i think anyways he too has a big mustache and wears his pants the same.



Overall i give it a 8.0 I would have to say my favorite part of the whole movie was the cinematography it was just stunning to say the least. The beach scene was so beautiful and the music that plays in the background only made it more beautiful. I also loved all the flashbacks the movie has and they were blended in at just the right times for it make to make a more meaningful impact on the story. Olivia Wilde had a small part in the film witched sucked as i was hoping for her to have a bigger part but she was still amazing nonetheless she also looked simply gorgeous as always so that was nothing new.


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Tremors review

Posted : 2 years, 12 months ago on 2 July 2014 11:05 (A review of Tremors)

"We decided to leave town just one damn day to late!"


Tremors is such an awesome 90's monster movie that has a great blend of action, horror, and humor, its also without a doubt one of my favorite films of all time. It being a horror is actually pretty funny because i used to watch it all the time growing up but never really saw it as a horror movie as the comedy in it subdues any horror feeling the movie has but watching it nowadays i can totally see the movie as a horror. Ron Underwood made is big screen directorial debut with Tremors but sadly went on to do nothing else that was this good and now he is a TV director working on multiple shows. Seeing the 6.2 rating here on Listal is an absolute shame, i see so many people giving it a 1 now that is a complete joke anybody that gives the movie a rating of less than a 7 should honestly stop watching movies and reevaluate on how they view cinema.

The movie follows two hard working handymen Val (Kevin Bacon) and Earl (Fred Ward) finding little work in the small town of Perfection, Nevada, and after finally deciding to leave for the nearest town of Bixby for better work they come across one of the fellow resident's dead on top a electrical tower. After a couple more deaths and the towns only road getting blocked we see the few remaining resident's of Perfection fight to survive against a threat they can't see coming. The chemistry Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward have together was surprisingly good, im not sure if these two had worked together before this but after watching this you would think they did. I would have to say that Michael Gross as Burt Gummer was my favorite character of the whole movie the guy was an absolute blast literally also Reba McEntire who played his wife was pretty awesome.

Overall i give it a 8.0 The 2 sequels may not be as good as the first but at least they are better then the god awful prequel they made.


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The Grand Budapest Hotel review

Posted : 3 years ago on 29 June 2014 02:27 (A review of The Grand Budapest Hotel)

"There are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity..."


The Grand Budapest Hotel is pure brilliancy and with out a doubt the best Wes Anderson film to date. I think it's rather amazing that Wes can make one exceptional film after another as there are only a few directors nowadays that can be held on the same level as him. Of course If you have not seen any Wes Anderson Film before this than you might not be able to appreciate all the fine details he is able to incorporate into this. I was thinking only a few movies had the chance of being my favorite movie of the year and this was nowhere near it yet surprisingly now after watching this i have it as my top movie of the year beating out Captain America: The Winter Soldier by quite a few points.



The films narration is beautiful done and tells the wonderful story of Gustave (Ralph Fiennes) the lead concierge at The Grand Budapest Hotel in the fictional country of Zubrowka and the hotels new lobby boy Zero (Tony Revolori). After Madame D. (Tilda Swinton) one of Gustave's lovers pasts away he and Zero immediately head to her wake upon arriving they stumble upon the reading of her will in which Gustave finds out that she has left him "Boy with Apple" which happens to be a very valuable painting. This makes Madame's son Dmitri (Adrien Brody) very angry and he tries to get Gustave thrown out of his house despite him not being the actual owner of it yet. After showing Zero the painting Gustave and Zero steal the painting and hastaly leave the area set to sell it off and lay low for awhile although before they can do this Gustave is accused of murdering Madame D. and is thrown in prison.



What ensues from here is one hell of a marvelous thrill ride set to entertain all who watch it. The film has a great balance of humor just like all Wes Anderson films yet i found myself laughing a lot more this time around and i absolutely lost it when Willem Dafoe's character Jopling threw Jeff Goldblum's characters cat out of the window especially when Goldblum looks out the window to see what has happened to it. Wes is the kind of director that like to work with the same actors over and over again if you have seen any of his other films it would be hard not to see a familiar face in this. Seeing so many movies nowadays with a all-star cast that end up being rather underwhelming its nice to see that a director can still put together such a masterful cast and make everyone brilliant it in.

Overall i give it a 9.0 It's going to be hard to beat out this movie as my favorite yet i thought the same thing with "12 Years A Slave" and now i have that as my fourth or fifth favorite film of the year so far. Still though i thoroughly enjoyed this movie more so than any other film this year and im seeing only two movies left with a chance to overtake it.


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Snowpiercer review

Posted : 3 years ago on 28 June 2014 10:18 (A review of Snowpiercer)

On a weekend where the fourth haphazard installment of the Transformers franchise is released we are introduced to one of the best foreign films there has been in recent years. Director Joon-ho Bong's "Snowpiercer" is a visually stunning, jaw dropping masterful piece of post-apocalyptic dystopian science fiction cinema without a doubt. I actually didn't even know that this was based off a graphic novel until just a few days ago but now after seeing this i really want to check it out to see if its just as great this. Seeing the 6.9 rating here on Listal and the 7.0 on IMDb it just saddens me that people can't see just how beautiful and thought-provoking this film really is and it makes me question if the head guys at The Weinstein Company was right about thinking that this movie would be too smart for american audiences but at least it seems the critics got it right on this one.



In the year 2014 after a failed experiment to counteract the worlds global warming problem earth is soon sent into a deep freeze killing off almost all of mankind. The few who remain live on a massive non-stop state-of-the-art train that travels around the world once every year. The train runs on a class system in which the rich get to live happily near the front while the poor struggling to survive in the back. Now its the year 2031 and people who inhabit the tail end of the train gear up for another rebellious uprising this time led by Curtis (Chris Evans). From here we see them brutally overtake each section of the train starting with the prison section where they find the guy who built all the doors that divide each cart. Maybe the best part of the movie is the epic battle scene right before they overtake the water room in which turns out to be one of the most intense fighting scenes i have ever seen that only few films can match.



A cool thing we see is that the farther they go up the train the more they get to experience how the rich get to live with being able to take showers, eat fresh food, and even being able to see the outside and when they finally do they see that its still just a frozen land barren of all life. Of course the movie wasn't without flaws and i did have a few problems with it but they were nothing too serious that it took me out of my experience while watching it. Unlike several movies ive watched lately where the twists have been a bit underwhelming this movie had a great twist i didn't see coming so that was cool . I don't want to give too much away from the movie but all i have to say is that if your theater just so happens to be playing this id would HIGHLY recommend you go watch this rather than the tedious explosion filled Bayfest that is Transformers: Age of Extinction.



Overall i give it a 8.0 The whole cast was excellent and this is for sure the best we have yet to see of Chris Evans as his acting was absolutely phenomenal hopefully we get to more films like this whenever he decides to act again after he takes some time off after his contract with marvel expires and he kicks off his directing career. Seriously though im glad The Weinstein Company didn't cut the running time on this as i don't think it would have turned out as great as it did.


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Take Me Home Tonight review

Posted : 3 years ago on 27 June 2014 11:01 (A review of Take Me Home Tonight)

You know i didn't really care to see this movie when it first came out the trailers didn't do anything for me but after my friend said that it was actually pretty decent i decided id give it a shot and surprisingly the movie turned put better than what i thought it would. Now i find Topher Grace really annoying like most of us do but shockingly he didn't ruin the movie the movie for me. The movie surprisingly has quite a few well known actors even ones in minor roles like, Chris Pratt, Michelle Trachtenberg, Bob Odenkirk, Michael Biehn and Demetri Martin which for the most part i can't stand but his few parts in this were pretty funny. The main cast being Topher Grace, Anna Faris, Teresa Palmer, and Dan Fogler which for the most part all did solid performances but for me at least the highlight of the movie was Fogler as he has multiple scenes that were just hilarious.

The story follows Matt Franklin (Topher Grace) a MIT graduate working at his local video store in the mall while trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life. After seeing his high school crush Tori Fredreking (Teresa Palmer) Matt makes it his plan that to ask her out. That's pretty much the whole story, yeah it may be overused and predictable it still makes for a decent romcom. Despite the movie being rated R it still plays it safe with nothing but dropping the F bomb a bunch of times oh and i guess you also get to see some boobs.

Overall i give it a 6.0 Absolute best thing about this movie was the awesome soundtrack loaded with tons of great 80's songs.


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Hot Rod review

Posted : 3 years ago on 26 June 2014 10:44 (A review of Hot Rod)


"I used to be legit. I was too legit. I was too legit to quit. but now I'm not legit. I'm unlegit. And for that reason, I must quit."


When i first went to see this movie at the theaters i didn't really know anything about it and i pretty much went because i was with friends. While watching the movie i didn't really seem to like anything about it yet my friends were laughing their asses off. So i gave it another chance when it came out on dvd and strangely i happened to absolutely loved it this time around. The movie has a awkward comedy feel to it and does it perfectly i guess some people say this is kinda like Napoleon Dynamite but honestly this movie is way better.

The movie follows Rod Kimble (Andy Samberg) a amateur stuntman trying to live up to his deceased fathers name and to also prove to his stepfather Frank (Ian McShane) that he is a man by trying to beat him up. After unsuccessfully trying to jump the local pool Rod heads home to find out that Frank is very sick and will die soon unless he gets expensive heart transplant. After blowing off some steam Rod comes up with a plan to throw a massive charity event to help pay for Franks surgery by jumping fifteen buses. This is when Rod with the help of his crew, Kevin (Jorma Taccone) his stepbrother, his two friends Dave (Bill Hader), and Rico (Danny McBride), also his hot neighbor Denise (Isla Fisher) who Rod has crush on help him train so he can become a great stuntman and earn the 50 thousands dollars he needs for his stepfather surgery.

The movie has plenty of great scenes but also some that don't hit the mark by trying to be too funny. I would say that the "Cool Beans" part had to be one of the most hilariously random things i have pretty much ever seen in a movie. A great thing about the movie is that it got me hooked on the comedy group "The Lonely Island" which consist of both Andy Samberg and Jorma Taccone who acted in the movie also Akiva Schaffer the director of the movie and now they happen to be one of my favorite music groups out now. What can i say about Isla Fisher in this movie she looked absolutely beautiful also she was pretty funny as well.

Overall i give it a 7.0


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Project X review

Posted : 3 years ago on 22 June 2014 08:20 (A review of Project X)

Project X is the kind of movie you should only watch once as it has absolutely no re-watch value. For the most part while movies based around parties have a somewhat story being told this movie has none its just about one massive party. While the partying may be cool for the first like 10-20 minutes the movie really starts to drags on in the middle and the multiple scenes of girls breast and ass wasn't enough to do anything im mean yeah sure it was nice but rather pointless. For it being a Found Footage film it wasn't as bad as it could have been as most the time im annoyed by these types of movies but i was a problem this time.

The story follows three loser kids in high school who decide to throw a massive party in hopes that it will later make them popular and that's it ensue the partying. The movie had a couple good moments but nothing outrageous i chuckled maybe a few times honestly it was kinda a let down. I think its hilarious that the movie was promoted as "The Party You've Only Dreamed About" because i have been to a rave which is pretty much the same thing and there was at least 3-5 thousand people all partying but that was in the forest and not a house, most people I've had at my house for a party was like 50 people but of course my house isn't that huge. The end does pick up with with how crazy the party gets and saves it from its tedious shot after shot of either tits, ass, people drinking, and people hooking up.

Overall i give it a 5.0 Honestly my favorite characters were the security kids as they were the best part of the whole of the movie well other than the hot women.


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